I want to start a strip club! I have decided. Except I would like all my dancers to be no younger than 70 years old. We could call the club Blue Hairs! Or better yet Grammy's Place. I LOVE THIS IDEA! And the club could have it's only sleazy magazine too, that way we could promote the dancers, a blue hair of the month if you like!
Who doesn't think this is a great idea??? I've seen.....I mean um... I've read about famous porn " celebrities " doing autograph signings and apperances at various respectable strip clubs around the good ol' USA. I've heard about the likes of a Mr. Ron Jeremy, doing a ton of these things! Ok, fine. I have a great deal of respect for that man. But he just wouldn't fit in well at my fine establishment. I would bring in Angela Lansbury, or Tom Boseley, maybe even Wilford Brimley! Tom Boseley could sign VHS copies of "Father Downing Mysteries", And Wilford Brimley could peddle his diabetes wares as he sees fit.
At the traditional strip club, a person can pay X number of dollars for what's called a Backroom Dance aka a Lap Dance, and sometimes you get a free adult video with the dance, well at my club, you get a free VHS tape of the television show
" Murder She Wrote. "
Of course, my club would have a DJ! Why would someone ask that? I would hire The Today's Show - Willard Scott to do it! It would be so great. Just imagine, Willard could spin Benny Goodman or Lawrence Welk on the wheels of steel, and he would have to announce the dancers name. " Next up is Hazel in Lace - and she's 87 years young today!" She would stroll out on the stage - I MEAN SHE ACTUALLY USES A STROLLER TO COME OUT! There are fibrulation paddles on the stripper pole, just in case. Hazel would come out to dance, dressed in leather, of course she would have a
broach pinned on herself too.
Most strip clubs serve food, a few lite menu choices, and sometimes N.A Beer. Not mine! This club, my club, would serve chocolate chip cookies and vernors!
The dancers backstage, don't need to worry if they have enough sexy perfume on, but they can re stock on polident and depends!
Men in the crowd, would put out they hands with dollar bills, and not only still keep the dollar bill, but pull it back with dentures attached.
I would have to have several dancers on call, cause all of them, could only work part time, so they don't lose their social security benefits.
I have five dancer on board so far!
Hazel in leather
Ethel in lace
C'mon y'll it's only 5 dollars to get in!!!!!!