Monday, January 30, 2006

An Amazing Film....Part One

Ok...I've seen this movie four times now!
It is by far one of the most interesting and entertaining documentaries I have seen in a really long time.
and the film is Inside Deep Throat

This is the story of the making of the 1972 adult film " Deep Throat " starring the ever famous " Linda Lovelace."

However, what is more interesting hear is the story of how this film affected society, politics, and the entertainment industry. It's also a great little time capsule of the 1970's. And details the story of the only actor ever charged and arrested for acting in a film - Mr. Harry Reems.

I can't speak highly enough about just how great this movie is. damn I just love it.
It makes you fall in love with it.

I just ordered my " I Choked Linda Lovelace " T-shirt.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I had a dream.........

I want to start a strip club! I have decided. Except I would like all my dancers to be no younger than 70 years old. We could call the club Blue Hairs! Or better yet Grammy's Place. I LOVE THIS IDEA! And the club could have it's only sleazy magazine too, that way we could promote the dancers, a blue hair of the month if you like!

Who doesn't think this is a great idea??? I've seen.....I mean um... I've read about famous porn " celebrities " doing autograph signings and apperances at various respectable strip clubs around the good ol' USA. I've heard about the likes of a Mr. Ron Jeremy, doing a ton of these things! Ok, fine. I have a great deal of respect for that man. But he just wouldn't fit in well at my fine establishment. I would bring in Angela Lansbury, or Tom Boseley, maybe even Wilford Brimley! Tom Boseley could sign VHS copies of "Father Downing Mysteries", And Wilford Brimley could peddle his diabetes wares as he sees fit.

At the traditional strip club, a person can pay X number of dollars for what's called a Backroom Dance aka a Lap Dance, and sometimes you get a free adult video with the dance, well at my club, you get a free VHS tape of the television show
" Murder She Wrote. "

Of course, my club would have a DJ! Why would someone ask that? I would hire The Today's Show - Willard Scott to do it! It would be so great. Just imagine, Willard could spin Benny Goodman or Lawrence Welk on the wheels of steel, and he would have to announce the dancers name. " Next up is Hazel in Lace - and she's 87 years young today!" She would stroll out on the stage - I MEAN SHE ACTUALLY USES A STROLLER TO COME OUT! There are fibrulation paddles on the stripper pole, just in case. Hazel would come out to dance, dressed in leather, of course she would have a
broach pinned on herself too.

Most strip clubs serve food, a few lite menu choices, and sometimes N.A Beer. Not mine! This club, my club, would serve chocolate chip cookies and vernors!

The dancers backstage, don't need to worry if they have enough sexy perfume on, but they can re stock on polident and depends!

Men in the crowd, would put out they hands with dollar bills, and not only still keep the dollar bill, but pull it back with dentures attached.

I would have to have several dancers on call, cause all of them, could only work part time, so they don't lose their social security benefits.

I have five dancer on board so far!
Hazel in leather
Ethel in lace
Nasty Norma
Gigantic Gertie
Dangerous Dorothy

C'mon y'll it's only 5 dollars to get in!!!!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Welcome to the Monster Mash

This is the Monster Mash, a collection of posts that mash up movies, music, and madness on an irregular basis.

I am the Monster Masher, I liberate forgotten bands like Os Mutantes, abandoned movie genres like grindhouse cinema, and unknown directors like Alejandro Jodorowski.

I am a Google guerilla, a masked maestro, and a pirate media producer. In the coming months, I will post expansive movie and music lists, histories, unofficial essays, and mashing up my favorite rare works of art for your enjoyment.